Reflections

Today in search of blog news for The Digichick blog I went and read all the staff's blogs.....and wow what an eye opener I had. Not that there was anything that was shocking to me but that I read such honest bloggin that I felt a bit guilty for reading it and not sharing my own experiences. Sort of like peepin into people's worlds and realizing how honest some are and feeling a bit guilty that I am quiet. I have this blog but I really don't say the things or share my thoughts here - probably has a lot to do with that everyone has this ideal that I am the "altogether cheerleader girl out there in digi land". I find that with this there is a lot of "pressure" to be on. I also find it has a lot of responsibility sometimes and I guess that is why sometimes I am quiet. I need time to regroup and find the ability to encourage and not sound fake when I do it. I am not unhappy per se with how things are going but sometimes I am tired, just really really tired. I find that sometimes I feel like I am lifting everyone up and finding that sometimes it almost feels like you are being taken for granted.

When I started out I am not sure what I wanted to accomplish - I guess I just wanted to create layouts and have fun. I wanted to be on some teams and maybe make a few friends along the way and heck even get published. I have accomplished many of those things but on the way I have seen some of the brutalness out there and it sometimes makes me stop and wonder about all of this. Oh and don't worry there are no specifics here.....just wondering out loud per se. I haven't scrapped in a week and finding I am at a loss for what to do. Not sure if this has something to do with it or if I am just in a rut.....the weekend is here so hoping I find something motivating......

Home stuff - well it's been 2 weeks since the girls have started school. Amy is overwhelmed with all the homework she has. And well, I kind of feel sorry for her. The last 2 years she has had the same teacher who in my opinion was a little bit too laid back with the kids. She kind of was more like "their friend" then their teacher and those kids just ran roughshod over her. So now we are in a new year with a new teacher and now some real homework. To add to all of this, she has different teachers for different subjects - something she is not used to and a bit different for only 5th grade. She passed a test and is in an advanced Math class so that is aiding to all the angst for her too. But I keep encouraging her. I met her teacher on Wednesday and well, I was not impressed. This is her first year teaching and well, she is really scatterbrained. Now mind you she could have been nervous meeting all us parents but wow.....I really had to sit there and think kind thoughts of her and her intentions for the year. I was happy though to see that other parents had the same reservations and I wasn't just being a butt about it all. Amy loves her so that is a plus so hoping that my instincts were wrong and that she will be good for the kids. Oh and I am happy Amy decided to go out for the Volleyball team at school......she is not the most athletic girl I know - preferring to sit and watch tv or play on the computer but this year she is able to join in the school teams. I really pushed her to do it since all the kids make the team - no one is asked to try out. So it gives her an experience she might not have ever had and also gives her a chance to be outdoors more. She really looks cute in her little uniform and already slept in it last night with a huge smile on her face.

And Hayley......well, it hasn't gone as bad as I thought it would. She did cry but not the wails I am used to seeing - just the kind that breaks your heart and makes you wonder why you have to be a working mom. But I am told by Sister Mary she is happy as a lark inside the classroom and is a great student. So since I am guessing nuns HAVE TO be honest I am going to go with that so I can make it through the day. She is meeting new friends and enjoying the school work, including homework, that she is getting. I believe whole heartedly this is going to be a good thing for her - she needed a challenge and Tutor Time (her daycare/kindergarten) was not doing that for her. And I have to laugh - my girls fight me about Church on Sunday and sometimes my laziness comes out and I can't disagree with their protests that it is boring. But now Hayley is loving it because I am sure the school church is much more lively than the one we go to on Sunday. They have 300 kids in there - they got to do something to keep those kids quiet and interested!!!

So we'll see how it goes - I am finding I need to be with them a bit more lately to encourage them and sit by them while doing homework......but I am ok with that......kind of fun being just a mom sometimes. :)